Unhappy Hour

HOOT
An Unhappy Hour? Why is The Legion having an Unhappy Hour down at Donnie's?

ANTON
All of the hours are unhappy.

VERN
At first, we was doing it at The Legion to raise money to pay a lawyer cause me and some of the guys tossed that Gary out the window at Donnie's.

HOOT
But Nanny said those charges were dropped.

VERN
Yup.

HOOT
So why are you having it?

VERN
Cause that weaselly faced, pencil...

NANNY
Vernon! Enough!

VERN
...Gary came and inspected The Legion and said the septic wasn't good enough and has to be replaced.

ANTON
Life is all about shit.

VERN
Yes it is. Then he ordered The Legion shut down.

ANTON
Thus The Legion guys are Unhappy.

HOOT
Thus? You've been hanging out with Sam too much Anton.

NANNY
You boys have nobody to blame but yourselves. I'm sure Gary would have turned a blind eye to that old septic tank if you hadn't TOSSED HIM IN THE BUSHES!

VERN
Not our fault the little weasel can't take a joke. Anyhow, we need to raise enough money to put in a new septic system.

HOOT
I don't understand why Donnie would help, doesn't The Legion compete with his bar?

VERN
That's true! I wonder why is Donnie helping?

ANTON
Cause there are lots more people at Donnie's when you and your guys aren't there Vern.