The Enlightenment of Reverend Marvel

Nanny finds her joy in keeping the farm running and taking care of the family. She doesn't have time for TV or riding into the city for movies, but she does look forward to the annual tent revival on the town square. She's spent the last year ticking the days off the calendar in anticipation of this year's revival hosted by her favorite evangelist, the Reverend Moses Marvel. The first night of this five day event was tonight:

VERN: Ah, come on Nanny, you got to admit that was the most excitement we've seen around town for a coon's age. Quit slamming those pots around and admit it.

NANNY: You better just shut your mouth Vernon or I'll smite you from here to next week.

HOOT: What's the matter Nanny? Uncle Vern, what did you do to Nanny!

SAM: What's going on? How was the tent revival?

NANNY: Well Sam, Why don't you ask your good for nothing, hyena faced Uncle?

VERN: For the first time ever I'm glad I was there.

NANNY: It was disgraceful. Everyone laughed except me and Agnes. I just don't know what's happened to the world, what's happened to good manners and respect for men of the cloth?

HOOT: Will somebody tells us what happened at the revival?

VERN: Well, we got there early, like Nanny wanted. I had to help Agnes to their seats in the front row, you know how slow that old relic walks. You'd think someone shot HER foot off. By the time I got back to the truck some jackass had it blocked in,and by the time I walked back to the tent to find the guy, the singin had already started.

NANNY: Rev. Marvel started right off with Christ Arose, near made the hair stand up on my arms, his voice is just that clear and deep.

VERN: Just as they belted out Hallelujah Christ Arose this big banner rolled down from the top of the water tower, smack dab in the spot lights. It said "Bong Hits for Jesus". "Bong" was right over Reverend Marvel's head.

NANNY: Half naked boys up there, whistling and shouting and pointing at their poorly lettered sign. It was shameful and then that Mary Peterson got the giggles.

VERN: And you know how Mary Peterson is, she gets that snort going when she laughs. Didn't take long before everyone was laughing.

NANNY: Not me and Agnes!

HOOT: Oh no, this sounds like something Anton would think of, he wasn't up there was he?

VERN: Hell Hoot, Anton won't even wear shorts, much less take his shirt off. Looked like the Hendershot brothers and that Cooter Woods.

HOOT: What happened then, Nanny?

NANNY: The Reverend couldn't understand why everyone stopped singin and were pointing up at the choir. He turned around, saw that sign from hell, dropped his microphone and marched right back to the miracle bus with all his people trailin' right behind.

VERN: The old charlatan took off so fast that rug he wears on his head tipped right over his eyes.

HOOT: Was everything on the sign spelled right? If it was it couldn't have been Cooter...maybe Junior Simples, he likes to climb the water tower.

NANNY: I don't care who they were, I'm just glad the Sheriff caught them. I so wanted to hear Reverend Marvel, he hasn't preached a tent meeting close enough for me to go to in years. I was so proud that he would see the improvements we made to the park.

SAM: Nanny, how much DID you donate to the Jaycees to help pay for the lights on the water tower?

NANNY: I wanted everyone to see the new water tower, running water is a blessing. Only those who remember not having it understand.

SAM: That's a good point Nanny, too many of us don't recognize our luxuries and privileges. Clean, running water is a great benefit, most people on the planet don't have it. And the boys who put up the banner copied their sign from the one in the Supreme court case last year.

HOOT: Ooh, like that's a surprise! As if anyone around here has ever had an original idea.

NANNY: We had a perfect view of that water tower until those boys got in the way. I just don't know why everyone found half naked teenagers so darn funny. Agnes and I certainly didn't see anything funny about those skinny hooligans. There's a time and place for everything and if those boys wanted to tell everyone about their bongo drums for Jesus, they shoulda done it with some dignity.

HOOT: Nanny, you and Agnes don't know what a bong is, do you?