NANNY: I've never been so late for anything. Why did you go that way?
SAM: We were late for the appointment, but there was no harm, the Doctor wasn't ready for you until just after we got there.
NANNY: Vern would have got me there on time. Vern knows that 15 minutes early is on time and on time is LATE! Made me miss hearing about Lurilines grandchildren in the waiting room.
SAM: The GPS provides the most direct route between locations Nanny, it's a technological miracle.
NANNY: Might be the most direct way, but it certainly ain't the quickest. Only a fool goes down route 26 during hay season. Lady in that box doesn't even speak American.
SAM: We would have been there early if not for the hay wagons, that's true. The GPS voice has an English accent. I think it sounds cultured.
NANNY: Everyone knows not to use that road on a sunny day during hay season. Besides, we don't need that GPS thing for trips up to the city, been driving there for twenty years, it's ridiculous.
SAM: Local common knowledge does have value. Perhaps there's a way to add such data to navigation systems. But then again, much of it would be unnecessary. How many travelers would use it. Sometimes technology is extraneous.
NANNY: That's what I said!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Use Your Words - Correctly
SAM: What are you doing Nanny?
NANNY: I'm making picket signs. Do you know that the library is trying to BAN BOOKS? I couldn't believe it, they got 'em all stacked up on a table right in front of the WINDOW...
SAM: Nanny, wait, I think you've misunderstood....
NANNY: Bet that idiot friend of Vern's is behind this - looks like they're preparing to set them books alight. You wouldn't believe the books they have on that table: the Harry Potter series! Judy couldn't get her boys to read so much as the back of a cereal box till that Harry Potter came along. Now them boys are readin' everything they can get their hands on...
SAM: ...if you'll just let me explain...
NANNY: Shameful! Just shameful what they're doin down at the library. The Bluest Eye, Huckleberry Finn, Lord of the Flies, James and the Giant Peach? What kind of knucklehead thinks Where's Waldo is dangerous readin'? Must be those tight buns the librarians wear, made 'em crazy as bed bugs and dumb as fence posts. We got free speech in this country! Your very own Uncle lost a foot insuring that freedom and don't even get me started on the rest of your relatives, Sam. McFadden men have been fighting for our right to read or write whatever we want since the Revolutionary War. No damn librarian is gonna ban a book while I have breath left in me!
SAM: Nanny! Just Stop! The Library isn't banning books, they're celebrating Banned Books Week, it's an opportunity for the public to see the books people TRY to ban or challenge and to celebrate the fact that no matter how much people would like to censor our reading, they can't. According to the American Library Association: Banned Books Week (BBW) celebrates the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one's opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular. Those books are up on that table as examples, that's all.
Well, Nanny, are you going to say something?
NANNY: Seems to me that a bunch of people what makes their living on words ougta have a better name for celebratin books than Banned Books Week. But what do I know?
NANNY: I'm making picket signs. Do you know that the library is trying to BAN BOOKS? I couldn't believe it, they got 'em all stacked up on a table right in front of the WINDOW...
SAM: Nanny, wait, I think you've misunderstood....
NANNY: Bet that idiot friend of Vern's is behind this - looks like they're preparing to set them books alight. You wouldn't believe the books they have on that table: the Harry Potter series! Judy couldn't get her boys to read so much as the back of a cereal box till that Harry Potter came along. Now them boys are readin' everything they can get their hands on...
SAM: ...if you'll just let me explain...
NANNY: Shameful! Just shameful what they're doin down at the library. The Bluest Eye, Huckleberry Finn, Lord of the Flies, James and the Giant Peach? What kind of knucklehead thinks Where's Waldo is dangerous readin'? Must be those tight buns the librarians wear, made 'em crazy as bed bugs and dumb as fence posts. We got free speech in this country! Your very own Uncle lost a foot insuring that freedom and don't even get me started on the rest of your relatives, Sam. McFadden men have been fighting for our right to read or write whatever we want since the Revolutionary War. No damn librarian is gonna ban a book while I have breath left in me!
SAM: Nanny! Just Stop! The Library isn't banning books, they're celebrating Banned Books Week, it's an opportunity for the public to see the books people TRY to ban or challenge and to celebrate the fact that no matter how much people would like to censor our reading, they can't. According to the American Library Association: Banned Books Week (BBW) celebrates the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one's opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular. Those books are up on that table as examples, that's all.
Well, Nanny, are you going to say something?
NANNY: Seems to me that a bunch of people what makes their living on words ougta have a better name for celebratin books than Banned Books Week. But what do I know?
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